My visit, to Banjo Kazooie
by Joseph the Weasel
Summary: A humorous fanfic, when I Joseph the weasel visit, Banjo's world.
1. The begining

Banjo Fanficion

I sat, in my living room, playing Banjo Tooie, and Banjo Kazooie at the same time on my Nintendo 64, (that I had modded to do this feat,) the TV screen sparked, and a giant wormhole from space appeared in front of me, it was a result of to much Banjo awesomeness, luckily, I was not playing Ultima II, or else the world would explode. The wormhole sucked me in, the ride was shaky and frightening, but soon it was over, I looked around, and found myself on top of Spiral Mountain. I looked at my self, I had brown fur, and cute, weasel claws. I had been trasformed into my Redwall alter ego, I sighed, this had been happening a lot as of lately. I ran down Spiral Mountain, which took almost an eternity, I found myself, looking at Banjo's house, I leaped in joy, and ran to the door, and knocked on it, I heard voices,

"Banjo wake up you lazy bum, someone's knocking on our door!" I reconised Kazooie's voice

"Not now Kazooie," I reconised Banjo's voice, "I'm trying to sleep,"

I heard a slap and a yell, then I heard Banjo get out of bed, sluggishly.

The door opened, revealing Banjo the Bear, staring right at me.

"Hellp there," he said, "who are you?"

"Oh," I said, surprized that I was talking to THE Banjo, "I'm Joseph the Weasel, poet, and writer,"

Kazooie, looked at me, "Hi there, weasel-boy,"

"Kazooie!" Banjo exclaimed "please, try to show at least SOME manners,"

"Sorry," Kazooie apoligized.

"It's okay," I said, "it is an honour to be insulted by you actually."

"In that case," Kazooie smiled, "you can be insulted all you want, long-snout."

"That's pushing it," I said, "and my snout is not long"

"Yes it is," Kazooie snickered

I felt my snout, "It's just because I'm a weasel,"

"What ever," She laughed

"Are you, busy?" I asked Banjo,

"No not at all," he said, "In fact, is there something you want to do here?"

"YES!" I said, leaping in joy, "I want to go on an adventure with you two,"

"Well..." Banjo frowned, "there are no adventures, to do, really, sorry I've done them all,"

"But your Banjo!" I said, "you can do anything! we can go on an adventure if we wanted to!"

"Well..." he said, beggining to smile, "I guess if you put it that way, we can do something."

"Yay!" I cheered, "let's see king Jingaling!"

we walked across the peaceful plains, to the Jinjo Village, there, we entered Jingaling's palace. The jinjo king was sitting on his throne, petting his weird pet thing from Banjo Tooie,

"Yo wassup Banjo," he said, seeing us, "Here, take this jiggy, Grunty has amassed a terrible army of monsters, to do her evil bidding, we must stop her, us meaning, you, Kazooie, Bottles, Mumbo, Jamjars, and that long snouted guy with you."

"Hey," I exclaimed, "My snout is not long, I'm a weasel, and my name is Joseph"

"Yeah," he said laughing, "and I'm the king of the jinjos, ha ha ha- oh wait I really am, sorry,"

The jiggy magically appeered in Banjo's hand,

"Thank you king," he said, "here," he handed it to me, "Joseph take this,"

I accepted the jiggy, feeling now very happy that I was holding, a real jiggy in my hands -er paws.

"Now go," the king said, "hurry, before Grunty gets here!"

We ran out of the palace, Banjo thought that we should see Bottles, and see if he would help us

"Goggle-boy!" Kazooie laughed, "No I think, it would be better if we went on our own, just as we are."

Banjo sighed, "Fine, we'll head to Mumbo's mountain, and he will help us,"

"But," I said, "Shouldn't we see Bottles, I mean he could help us a lot,"

"Fine," Banjo said, "we'll see Bottles then Mumbo,"

We went through the forest to Bottles house, now inside his house Bottles was just standing in the middle of his living room,

"Hi Banjo," the mole said, "What are you doing here?"

"We need your help to stop Grunty's army of monsters,"

"Fine," the mole said, he looked at me, "Hey weasel person, press the A button to jump, press the B button to attack enemies."

"I already know that," I said

"Oh," he said,

"And my name is Joseph," I said.

Now, that we now were together, we headed to Mumbo's mountain, to get more help to stop Grunty's sudden army that she made.

Little did we know, is that she was expecting us to be there, her troops lied in wait for us, wait, how do I know this, if I'm the narrator, and doing all of this at the same time? I mean it doesn't make any sense, well, none of this makes any sense, oh well, just read the next chapter, before a time vortex appears because of me narrating and writing, this a t the same time.


	2. Mumbo's Mountain

Banjo fanfic chapter 2

We had setted course for Mumbo's mountain, I held a jiggy in my hand, Kazooie was rasberrying me rudely

I just rolled my eyes and ignored it.

Then just ahead of us, a batch of monsters appeared out of no where. Led by Klungo, Grunty's head henchman.

"You hurrrrts mistrrresss, Grrunty," he said, stupidly, "bear and birrrrrd and mole, and long-sssnouted guy pay daerly forrr herr pain!"

then the monsters charged at us, Banjo fought five at the same time, Bottles just ran around in circles as he was being chased, I went after Klungo.

He threw a potion bottle at me, I dogded it easily. I punched him in the face, platform style.

"You hurrrts me now" He cried "I run away now!"

The monsters were easily defeated as well, as Klungo ran away he shouted "Klungo unworthy missstrresss beat him good now!"

"That was easy," Kazooie laughed

"It's only the first level," I said, "of couse its easy"

Bottles gasped and pointed at me "you just broke the fourth wall!"

I scratched my head, "Fourth wall?"

"It means" the mole began "when I video game character says things revealing that he knows that the world he lives in is not real, that it is just a video game," he covered his mouth "oh-no I just did it!"

I shrugged my shoulders, "You always do, in fact almost every one in Banjo Kazooie does, it makes it funny."

Bottles stopped over reacting and we continued our journey to Mumbo's mountain.

After reaching our destination, rather quickly I might add, we entered his hut, which was in plain sight, and not far away.

In side his cabin, he sat on a stone chair, just looking ahead, like 64 era animated characters do, then he spotted us

"Hello bear and bird, do you have Mumbo tokens for magic?"

"no" Banjo said, "You have to do without them, but Grunty has unleashed a mighty army to invade the jinjo kingdom!"

"Oh," Mumbo sighed "no tokens for Mumbo, but that fine" he looked it me "Who is long snout, I never see him before."

"I'm Joseph" I said, "glad to meet you,"

"okay," he said, "But Mumbo just call you long snout, it is out of character for Mumbo to call some one by his name,"

I rolled my eyes, "Fine do what you must, but you must hurry and join us to defeat Grunty and her evil army of monsters"

"Okay Mumbo do that, bear and bird need Mumbo magic for fighting"

We went out of the hut together, Mumbo looked at Bottles, "So we just need to beat Grunty again, that all,"

"Yes" Bottles said, "wait, Banjo is this Banjo Threeie?"

"I don't know Bottles," Banjo said honestly "Maybe, but Rare made Nuts and Bolts instead for the Xbox 360, so wouldn't that make it Fourie?"

"I don't know!" I held my hands up, "Lets not dwell in vidoe game politics, lets just go on with the adventure,"

"Indeed," Banjo said, "But I wonder if Chris Seavor will be in this game?"

Then out in the distance I heard Peppy Hare's famous line "DO A BARREL ROLL!"

I rolled on the floor laughing, that line was just hilarious, I mean we were just talking about Chris Seavor then, he says he most famous line HA! HA! HA! HA!,... O h wait, you don't get it do you... Chris Seavor is the actor of Peppy Hare in Starfox 64, and he's the creator of Conker, but I won't mention him anymore, because this is a G rated fanfic... so go read cahpter 3!


	3. Chapter 3

My Visit to Banjo Kazooie chapter 3

We were hopelessly list, Bottles said it was THIS way to Gruntilda's layer but noooooo, we got lost sheesh, Kazooie was arguing with Mumbo about something, but I didn't care to listen, naw, I just talked with Banjo

"So hows it going Banjo?" I asked,

"Fine I'm sure we'll find the way eventaully." he said, "yeah, hopefully, so how are you doing, ummm, Joseph right?"

"yeah, glad you got it right, its Joseph, anyway yeah I"m fine, but, y'know what?"

"What?"

"Well," I began, "Its just we've been walking for hours, and theres no problem with that, I mean I'm not tired, or even hungry, I just think thats a little strange."

"People don't get hungry in Nintendo 64 games," Banjo said, "after all, its a game, not real life."

Then out of no where, Donkey Kong appeered,

"Okay!" he said with his limited vocablary

"Its Donkey Kong!" I said, "what is he doing here?"

Banjo scratched his head, "yeah I was just thinking about that,"

Donkey Kong beated his chest and grunted a few times.

"What do you mean, Grunty's making an army with the help of King K Kool, thats, not possible." I said, "he's from a diffrent game."

he beated and grunted again.

"What, she built a Game dimintion generator to teleport to any Rare game," I said "oh no that means, soon, she'll have Andross helping her out, and maybe ever (gasp) the fairy Panther King, we have to stop her."

Donkey Kong "talked" again,

"you mean theres some one who can help us, who Donkey who?" I shrieked

Donkey Kong pointed to the west, where I saw a familiar squirrel,

"Oh no you don't" I said waving my finger (er claw) "Your not going to let Conker in MY fanfic, no way buddy, not in a milleon years!"

Donkey Kong just smiled.

Conker walked to me, "C'mon let me in this, please?"

I shrugged my shoulders and sighed, "fine fine, but no cursing or anything not G rated, got that?"

"Okay okay," Conker said, "lay off, the drinkings out I swear, and I won't curse, I promise."

I turned around and walked forward a bit, Conker then took a can of beer from his pocket and drank it in one gulp, he belched and said a dirty word.

I told Banjo about what was going on, and we aggreed to let them help us out.

"But one things for sure," I said, (Conker then cursed again, singing a long stringe of curse words drunkily) "there goes our G rating."


End file.
